Helping my parents garden: Here to you I present a most formidable nightcrawler.
Nobody’s going fishing anytime soon though, so he was released back into the wild :3
Asked by caffeinated-zombie
Asked by Anonymous
Just realized how badly I’ve neglected this blog. ANYWAYS! Heres a progress shot of me slowly becoming fit so that I can leave a glorious corpse in the theatre after the Avengers movie.
BODIES, ASSEMBLE!
-D
Please feel free to add to this and submit your own at-home exercises!!!
-D
Asked by Anonymous
If you don’t want people noticing you exercising (or you don’t want to wake people up) its best to just do some simple reps in your bedroom to go ahead and get you started. For instance, a morning workout might be:
30 jumping jacks
20 lunges
15 push-ups (i fucking hate pushups so less of those)
20 squats
Initially, I’d say just stick to the basics- do some sit ups (proper ones), and if you can, I advise jogging before your morning shower. There is nothing like the feeling of getting out for a short jog to warm up, doing some brief exercises when you get back, and then taking a hot shower. Its heaven.
Also, make sure to stretch! Stretching is so freaking important, I cant even begin to emphasize how important it is ;___;. Brings tears to my eyes to see people exercise without stretching first.
Hope that helped!
-D
When you’re eating, make sure you eat slowly, and pay attention to proper portion sizes. Wolfing down food like I do isn’t good for you, and in fact slows your metabolism down.
Also, while its harder to get motivated, do your best to exercise in the early morning- it jump-starts your metabolism and, surprisingly, energizes you throughout the day. You’re more likely to slip in a few extra squats later on if you’ve already done your big workout in the morning.
Reblogged from theradicaldame
aradicaldamewholikestoplaygames:
I’m posting this out of absolutely nowhere. I think all bodies should be appreciated, whether i can play the xylophone on your ribcage or the drums on your jiggly butt. As long as youre happy and healthy, you are a beautiful person! Im going to post a slew of random pictures of myself and ramble about them, because its a body appreciation day, and I’ve seen a lot of things floating around like this and i wanted to do it myself :D
THE BELLLYYYYY
Why not start with the part most ladies are most self-conscious about. Belly time! Look here, im sitting in a tub pretending to be a mega hipster. Look at my belly! I dont care! I GET A ROLLY-ASS BELLY EVERY TIME IM NOT STANDING. And guess what? Its no big deal. I dont htink im fat, i dont mourn the fact, i just roll with it. my belly is rolly when i bed. Its natural. It looks like a mouth. It gets sweaty. Sometimes when i run, it bounces a little. BUT HEY. Its okay. Its not the end of the world if youve got a little belly jiggly. Have you ever had sex with someone and thought, mid-coitus, “holy shit…..her belly got a lottle roll in it went i bent him/her over to fuck her from a different angle” PROBABLY NOT! Ladies, love your little bellies! Its a pooch, a pouch, a uterus warmer, ovary protector, food holder and maybe someday, baby house!
Second thing: If i hear one more word or see one more poorly vignetted photo about the ‘all-holy’ Thigh-Gap im going to explode. Ladies with a thigh gap? YOU ROCK THAT FUCKIN GAP. YOU STORE THOSE SODAS WHILE YOU DRIVE, YOU DO YOUR THING. YOURE BEAUTIFUL TOO. Ladies without one? YOU RUB THEM FUCKING THIGHS. Look at me :O my bellys rolly, ive got a retarded look on my face, and my thighs are BEST FUCKING FRIENDS. My thighs bother be more than anything else on my body. I cnat stand that when i sit down i look like ive gained a hundred pounds because my thighs smoosh out. WELL GUESS WHAT. Until they invent chairs with secret thigh-holes, WE ALL LOOK THAT WAY. So your thighs smush? BIG DEAL!! Where else is it supposed to go? My thighs jiggle when i run. They get sweaty, they look bad, they never tan, they smoosh out and they carry me everywhere i need to go, without fail.
I have nice legs! I dont think so , but other people do. I wear tights because i think they make my legs look nice. I stand in akward poses to try and distract from my MOTHERFUCKING SIZE TEN FEET. Short ladies? YOU ROCK YOUR HOBBITY SELVES. YOURE FUN SIZED DYNAMITE. Tall ladies? WE CAN REACH SHIT. OUR PANTS NEVER FIT RIGHT. All ladies are beautiful, and all menfolks too! Find something you like about yourself, or be like me! Take what others see in you, see if maybe dressing that bit gets you a few more comliments you can reject because youre too self conscious to accept them! Its what i do! I cant take a compliment to save my life.
Heres another good one. I see a lot of profile shots here on the Tumblr, and they make me want that perfect waif sillouette more than anything. i wonder how the fuck they do it, the perfect curve from tiny belly to boob to butt.they dont even look real. O WAIT, PHOTOSHOP!!!! You do know they shop the hell out of those pictures, right? Read a magazine every now and again. Some of them are worth a shit. Celebrities, some of them, are refusing photoshopping- they take inches off thighs, erase little bulges, smooth out curves. Look at all those pictures of ladies lying down. Look at how SMOOOOOTH they are! SHOPPED. Smooth ladies, if youre out there, GO YOU. YOURE LOVELY. But if youre a lumpy lady like myself, rejoice! We’re beautiful too! I have a small waist- does it look like it in this picture? Fuck no, i look like a tube of cookie dough. IRL? It looks nice! It feels nice when people hug me! Looks like crap in pictures! Dont judge yourself in the mirror with your underwear on. That nine times out of ten just depresses you.
And last but not least- my damn face. More even than bodies i see girls on here driven half mad for want of that perfect tumblr face- you know what im talking about. Big, doll-like blue eyes, perfect lashes, billowy hair, porceline skin, button nose, luscious red lips with the perfect heart-shaped pout. Delicate chin, subdued cheekbones, ect. WHOOO. Guess what? These are pretty ladies. yes they are.
SHE LOOKED PRETTY BEFORE! Look, ladies and gentleman, what makeup can do. The next time youre sad about that girl, the one with the perfect tiny curves, with the big eyes, the small chin, beautiful lips, perfect melancholy stare, thigh gap, take a second look at yourself.
You. Are. Lovely. Every inch of you. When you wake up in the morning in the summer and your eyes are puffy and your hairs a damn mess and your inner thighs stick together and your boobs are hanging at that akward side angle that makes one look great and round and the other one flat and weird, when you sit up and your belly rolls up, your back pops, your ass crack sticks out and your breath smells horrible, remember that youre gorgeous. You look rough sometimes, you look great sometimes. You sit around in five inch heels and some days you sit around in boxer shorts with an ice cream tub. Nothing has changed. Someone you love will love you one day, and they wake up every morning to your sleepy honest body and they will love you jsut the same. :)
(Source: theradicaldame)
Green tea is used to speed up contractions during pregnancy. When you’re cramping, you are essentially contracting. So don’t drink green tea when you’re cramping- it only makes it worse.
Heat up a sock full of rice and put it on your belly, then drop your thanks in the ask box.
(not really to do with fitness but you cant work out if you feel shitty)
-D
